


Red Bleeds To Shades of Gray

by bitofageek



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), But non-Angry Infinity War/Endgame Wanda tickled my brain, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), F/M, Loki's Scepter (Marvel), Mind Manipulation, Mind Stone, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Salty, Screw You Marvel, Wanda Maximoff Redemption, Yeah-I didn't expect it either
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:48:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25228594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitofageek/pseuds/bitofageek
Summary: I thought my Happily-ever-after work (Schism) would cleanse the salt from my being, but alas, as long as the movies exist, the salt returns (not much in this story tho). This story is movie-based-only... I don't know the comic character versions at all.I watched part of Infinity War, and the plot holes just made me want to scream (well, that's been going on since Winter Soldier and the "don't call the computer guy to fix an entirely computer problem cause the writers wrote a computer movie for Captain America to fix?!?").This turned out a lot less salty and a LOT more forgiving for the Wanda character. I'm not a huge fan of Wanda from Ultron... but she's almost a completely different person in CW and IW. So I'm going to take that and work with it. She's more of a victim of her powers, the Scepter (because AoU IGNORED all the "IT'S SANITY BENDING" aspects from Avengers) and trauma re. initial choices (sorry about that). She eventually makes better ones.I guess my salt is directed towards the crapfest that is the Marvel "Creative" Team for all movies from AoU onward.
Relationships: Pietro Maximoff & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Vision
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	1. Red Bleeds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda is not in a good place and hasn't been for a long time.

Everything hurt and nothing made sense anymore!

Pietro was gone, so much damage all around, so much pain from everywhere!

She just wanted it to stop. 

It felt like it never stopped.

It started when her mother and father died and never, ever stopped. 

***

She thought it might stop when Shield Agent Strucker had taken them from the orphanage to train them. She and Pietro were special, he said. 

She knew they were. Pietro had always been fast - eerily fast. It had kept them alive when they needed food and shelter. Ever since _that day_ she'd been able to sense things - how many people were in a room, what they were feeling. It was fuzzy, but it was useful. 

It didn't stay fuzzy for long with Agent Strucker's team. 

***

She was almost _always_ angry!

It was a buzz under her skin, and Tony Stark put it there. 

He'd killed her parents! He made weapons! He destroyed! He was evil! He needed to be stopped!

It was a hum in her brain that almost never stopped. 

Nothing else mattered. 

***

She wanted his fear to destroy him.

She didn't expect what he feared.

She didn't want to admit she was wrong.

Clinging to hate was so much easier; felt so much better than loss. 

She thought Ultron would make the pain go away. She didn't care about the means... only the ends.

But she was wrong....wrong...wrong!

***

The buzz was gone.

The anger was gone.

The hate was gone.

The loss never went away.


	2. Shades of Gray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda's world collapsed a long time ago. And then collapsed again. And what she'd thought was fact was not. So many pieces.

Wanda wanted to continue to hate Tony Stark, but she couldn't.

She fought it - oh, how she fought it. Her life had been built on it. 

Her time with what she knew now was Hydra had bolstered it (how could she not SEE!?!)

The power of the Scepter fed it.

**

But the power of the Scepter created the pebble of doubt that grew into an avalanche that could not be denied.

-

Tony Stark's greatest fear was the loss of his friends.

Not fame. Not money. Not power.

Love.

**

She ignored it for as long as she could. 

But Stark gave her a place to stay after Pietro died.

_(another pebble)_

And he did not blame her for Ultron - when she KNEW she'd pushed him to the brink. 

_(and another)_

He blamed her for hurting the Hulk and Bruce, which he should. But Hulk and Bruce were gone and she couldn't fix that. But he still helped her.

_(and another)_

But what changed her mind the most was Vision. 

_(and the avalanche roared)_

Ultron created the body, but the soul came one of Stark's true creations. 

Vision was beautiful: warm and peaceful. He saw her and accepted her brokenness. 

When she looked at Tony Stark, hate became sorrow.


	3. Blurr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions are confusing - especially when they're not your own.

Being with Vision was relaxing and Wanda enjoyed it. 

With Strucker's team, there was tension and underlying negativity ALL the time. That happened with the Avengers sometimes, but it felt nothing like her life before. She had forgotten... even before her parents had died in the missile strike... Sokovia hadn't been a peaceful place. Violent tension permeated every waking hour.

Emotions were new for him; they weren't new to her... but the absence of negative emotions was...it was confusing. But it was nice at the same time. 

That was something she enjoyed about being with the Avengers, especially after being with Shieldra (Tony's word for Shield/Hydra - she mentally snorted whenever he said it).

She especially enjoyed being around Sam - he LOVED being an Avenger, practically vibrated with pride working alongside Captain America. 

Though things had been strange lately. She didn't know if it was normal because she didn't know what the team was like before she arrived.

Something was off, like gears not quite catching, but she couldn't figure it out. 

It wasn't like that with Vision, though. And the mind stone was SO different now that the Scepter was gone. They worked together to understand it, spent time talking to each other; just trying to be "normal".

That shattered when Clint arrived. 

Anger! urgency! confusion! fear! - get out get out get out!

She was no longer safe. Something was coming. 

She pushed Vision away, down down down

They ran. 

She couldn't understand why they were running, but they had to protect themselves. 

She couldn't understand why they were splintered, but she couldn't let go. 

She couldn't understand why she couldn't hold back!

She couldn't understand where the anger and fear were coming from.

She was drowning in a wave she couldn't see and flailing. 

She couldn't make it stop. 

* * * * *

It was so much easier with people who were CERTAIN. 

Stark wasn't. 

Natasha wasn't.

Steve... was. 

Make things right. Plant yourself. Save People. 

A whisper at the back of her mind that didn't make sense... not at first.

_< <<bucky>>>_

Then everything went to hell. 


	4. Awash in White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time at the Raft causes unexpected changes

Wanda woke in the Raft with the collar and straightjacket on to the face of a gloating General Ross and her friends in cells behind him. She lashed out with her power and it slammed back at her like an electric shock! It didn't matter - the rage, her own and her friends' - was a tidal wave. She couldn't help but ride it. 

Wanda raged a **lot** at first.

Rage-power- _shock_ ; rage-power- _shock_ ; over and over. 

How dare they!

She was trying to help! She was a hero!

But finally she remembered what SHE'd done to Vision, with HER uncontrolled, unleashed, rage-fueled power. And she pulled it back.

The rage collapsed. she collapsed with it, onto the bed, and into her own thoughts. 

When she came back to herself a bit, she noticed something she hadn't really felt in over a DECADE. 

Calm.

She hadn't felt calm in any real way for any length of time since the death of her parents. Not with Shieldra. Not even with the Avengers. She'd had a taste of it during her brief time with Vision - yet she hadn't recognized it. 

But being stuck in this cell, with the damn collar on, being forced to pull back so the shocks wouldn't hurt; pulling back on her power because she'd FINALLY seen what she'd done with it in her rage? 

She'd found _control for herself_. 

She tried using her powers a little at a time. She could still feel emotional states with no shocks - but she pulled back from that quickly because the experience was too overwhelming... and because she finally COULD pull back! It was still a pressure outside her - but it was OUTSIDE. The relief was palpable!

She tried to untie the straight-jacket - that was shocky... but she loosened it anyway so it was comfortable and then stopped.

She deserved it - she'd hurt Vision, and Nat.. and even Stark. She was dangerous.

She explored her own mind - something she'd never done, never had time or patience for... she could admit... the emotional awareness or even desire to do. She was too busy being angry and seeking revenge. Well, she had plenty of time now, and she'd finally woken up. 

Her eyes filled with tears as she realized, after all this time, this is something of which her parents would be proud. 

***

The white of the walls was strangely soothing. 

The collar was getting on her nerves - it wasn't comfortable and she couldn't practice control as much as she wanted to - _needed_ to.

She wanted out of this prison, of course she did, but the quiet was _wonderful._

Not like it had been with Hydra (she'd been so willfully blind about them).

They hadn't tortured her... that she could remember. They hadn't made her wear a collar. 

Words were their weapon when it came to her and her brother

Hydra had used them against each other - she'd forgotten about that.

What else had she forgotten, hidden from?

They'd used her parents' death to train her and her brother. 

She regretted everything about Sokovia... except killing Strucker. 

She regretted everything about Lagos, and the airport. 

She didn't want to make choices she'd regret anymore. 

* * * * * *

Wanda was vaguely aware that Stark was in the room. She wasn't expecting that. 

She listened, and sent out the smallest bit of her power she could... it took a lot of concentration and she was exhausted when she was done, but she knew Stark was trying to help.

He was VERY worried about Ross, and not in the "helping my partner" way, but in a "multiple swear words stop this guy" way...

Which was the opposite of what Steve had said. 

That worried her. 

Clint was SO angry - waves of it pouring off him. 

That worried her more. 

She could only hope whatever Stark was planning would work. 

She'd use her powers to help when the time came, but not like she had before - she never again wanted to use them like Hydra had trained her...

though she might make an exception for Ross. 

* * * * * 

Wanda reached out to Clint first. He was having a nightmare and she wanted to help soothe it if she could. 

Her powers had been so often an angry red in her mind, but that's not what was needed.

She pictured a soft cool pink like cotton candy as she touched his surface dreaming thoughts, soothing and light.

His sleep turned peaceful, but Wanda was worried.

She'd felt something _wrong_ inside him... magic (not hers - icy, burning cold blue) and injury (old) and fear (constant). 

If... no, WHEN they got out of this she'd let Natasha, and Vision, and Stark... (not Stark, TONY) know. 

Things had to be made right. 


	5. Blue and Red and White (like snow)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Escaping from the raft,  
> But all is not right with the world.

Steve and his friend came to save them. 

Wanda was ready and sent a wave of **_SLEEP_** across the raft. 

They were all dangerously powered people in their own ways and she didn't want more pain on her conscience.

 _The ocean was such a beautiful blue_ , she thought as they flew away.

* * * * *

The tension in the jet was thick, MUCH thicker than she expected it to be after a successful escape. 

No one was talking - mostly from exhaustion or relief or a combination of both.

But something was _off_.

She let down the shield she'd built in the Raft, and was hit with a wave of _red_ and _anger_ and _fear_ and _regret -_

all coming from Steve.

She didn't want to _see,_ but the images flew at her

_the crash_

_the deaths_

_the despair and fury_

_the fight_

_the anger_

_the shame_

Her heart broke.

She'd wanted Steve to be better than she was.

But he was a young, broken person who made horrible mistakes out of fear and pain, just like she had.

And just like she had, he was refusing to deal with it - and the consequences would be just as damaging.

She went to him, quietly and quickly, with a determination that surprised even her and took hold of his wrist in a firm grip. 

"Steve, if you do not let someone know what happened, if you do not send help... I will, because it must be done."

She paused as Steve looked at her in shock tinged with denial. Wanda stood firm. "If _you_ do not do this, it will haunt you for the rest of your life and you will never forgive yourself."

She paused again and let him see her pain.

"Do not let your pain control and destroy you. You will lose more than you ever thought possible." 


	6. Gray and White and Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda makes unexpected choices.

Wanda was satisfied when she heard Steve contact Prince T'Challa about what happened in Siberia. 

She wasn't happy... she didn't know if she would ever find happiness, or if she even deserved it. 

There was so much _wrongness_ in the group - Steve's desperation, Clint's overwhelming anger, Barnes' despair, her own guilt. She wanted to fix it all, but she didn't know where to start. 

She painstakingly rebuilt her mental shields and tried to find the place of peace she'd had with Vision, despite the wave of guilt and grief that washed over her. She'd hurt him. She would find a way to fix that and would not let herself repeat that behavior ever again. 

* * * * * 

The quinjet landed in Wakanda... they were escorted to the medical wing. She was grateful for that - they were all exhausted and a bit beat up (they deserved it to a degree, but it still felt good to be taken care of). 

She was glad that Steve's friend would be taken care of - she knew of him through her time with Hydra but had never encountered him. Hearing more details about how he'd come to be part of Hydra made her feel even more humiliated than she already felt. 

As she recovered, Wanda's control improved. She no longer reflexively touched others' surface thoughts - though she wasn't able to block out other people's emotional "shouting". A headache resulting from a bout of that is what drove her to see if Wakanda had healers who dealt with the mind as well as the body. 

She found them, and the gift of care and teaching they gave her soothed her soul in a way she'd never felt before. 

And she knew, because of it, that she couldn't stay with Steve. 

She asked for an audience with Prince T'Challa and told him of her worries about her team; and she asked for his help so that she could make things right with Vision, and Tony Stark and those her actions had affected. 

Because he understood acting out of anger and passion and pain, he did. 

* * * * * 

Wanda approached the apparently abandoned Avengers Compound with a heavy heart and a feeling of determination. She'd had a lot of time to think on her travels back to the US.

She didn't know how to repair the damage she'd done to her relationship with Vision, or to Tony Stark. 

But she could at least start with trying to repair the actual damage she'd done, which brought her to the Compound. She used her powers only to enter the grounds and the building, not damaging anything in the systems as she made her way to the kitchen where she'd last seen Vision. 

She sat by the hole she'd pushed him through and stared at it for a long, long time, barely registering the tears she shed. 

Then she _reached_ and painstakingly moulded and smoothed and reconstructed each layer. 

When she finally finished, she collapsed. 

She awoke to Vision standing beside her. 

* * * * * 

Though the holding cell in the compound was white, another color stood out for Wanda the most. 

_**Red** _

The color of Vision's skin.

The color of Iron Man's armor.

The color of the cast on Tony's arm.

The color of the blood

on Tony's father's face

of his mother's lipstick

of the star on the Winter Soldier's metal arm

blazing in her mind, despite the collar on her neck.

The color of her rage filled magic.

The color of her own shame.


End file.
